It’s the Grawlix Podcast’s 6th anniversary! Can you believe it? 6 years of comic book chat, Doctor Who complaints, TV talk, movie musings, and random banter. In other words, it’s all pizza.
To celebrate this milestone we decided to play a game. A role-playing game! But hey, you might say, you’ve already played a role-playing game on the show for the 2018 Halloween Special. Yeah, but this time we’ve got a new dungeon master. The DM is a ROBOT! Machine learning AI, actually.
In this episode, we have a blast playing through a game of AI Dungeon 2, a machine learning AI-driven role-playing game. Every game of AI Dungeon 2 plays out like an interactive story where each storyline is totally unique… and also wacky. Also, sometimes disturbing.
Is this just a strange tale of time-traveling podcasters, doppelgangers, and alien clones? Or is this the actual future and ultimate fate of The Grawlix Podcast as predicted by artificial intelligence? Yes! Enjoy!
This is the full text of the AI Dungeon 2 game we play on this episode. This contains full SPOILERS for the episode if you haven’t listened yet. Our input commands are denoted by the “>” in front of the line.
We am Grawlix, a podcast from the future stuck in the past. We are searching for a way back to our own time. We are in a record store in the 1980s. We have been there before and we will be there again.”
“What do you want?” you ask. “You’re not just here to listen to music or tell stories about your day.”
Grawlix laughs. “No, I’m afraid that would be more than enough.
> “Well, enough IS enough,” I, Grawlix, say to the other person.
You look at Grawlix and nod. He looks back at you with an annoyed expression on his face.
He says, in a slightly higher tone of voice:
Grawlix: Enough is enough! You think this place was some sort of refuge? It’s not!
> “Audio files come here for an escape,” We say.
You continue to stare at Grawlix as he continues to glare at you. He slowly turns around and walks away. The door opens up, revealing a large room filled with audio files, which are all playing different songs.
> “This is not the 1980s I was ready for!” I say. “The Grawlix has gotten
You walk over to one of the files and start clicking through it. You find yourself listening to a song by a band called “The Grawlix”.
It begins with a simple guitar riff, but soon becomes something else entirely.
> “The Grawlix Podcast has become something more than us. It is it’s own entity,” we say.
You turn around and begin walking out of the shop. As you leave, Grawlix yells after you.
Grawlix: Come back! Come back! This isn’t the 1980s anymore! The Grawlix has become it’s own entity!
> Start running for the nearest grocery store.
You run down the street, but stop when you see a grocery store. You grab a cart full of food and head inside.
As you enter the store, you notice that it is almost completely empty save for a few people standing outside.
> Search for pumpkin spice and bananas.
You quickly scan the shelves for anything that might contain what you need. Eventually, you spot a shelf full of things labeled “Pumpkin Spice”, “Banana Pudding” and “Cinnamon Roll”. You pick them up and head back out into the parking lot.
> Pass the food stuffs out to the people outside.
You pass the food out to the people outside.
They eat and then go back inside. They don’t seem too happy about it though.
> Enter the store and ask a clerk, “What is going on? You all passed the test so we know you are not robots from the future.”
A man wearing a black suit comes out of the front door and approaches you. He speaks to you in a polite manner, but seems very concerned about what is going on.
Man 1: What’s going on? Man 2: Oh, it’s nothing…
> Ask the men, “Which way back to the future?”
You ask the two men where they want to go. One points to a building across the street and tells you to follow him there.
Man 3: We’re going to go back in time…to a point before the Great War…and then we’ll travel forward again…
> Follow them to the building and ask, “What are going to do before the Great War?”.
You follow the man who pointed you towards the building.
He leads you to a small office area. There is a desk, some filing cabinets and several computers. A door in the far corner opens up to another room with a couch and television set.
> Ask the men, “Do you have the internet on those computer yet?”
You ask the men if they have internet access on their computers.
Man 4: No, we didn’t get Internet until today…we only got our phones…and now this…
Man 5: …but we can get the rest of it tomorrow night.
> “I won’t let THAT happen!”
You tell the men that you will be watching them closely tonight. They nod and smile at your words.
Man 6: I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough…you just better stay alert. Goodnight.
Man 7: Seeya later!
> “Where are all these men coming from?”
You ask the men where they came from. The man who was talking to you earlier says he is an engineer by trade, but has been working as a security guard since his last job ended.
> What is that man’s name?
The man who was talking to you earlier introduces himself as John. He says he is a security guard by day and works nights here at the mall.
John: John Smith…it’s nice to meet ya!…
> Ask John Smith, “How are we going to time travel?”
You ask John Smith how he plans to time travel.
John: Well, I mean like I said, we need to go back in time…then when we arrive at the place where the bomb went off, we need to go through this door and then…well you’ll see…
> Ask John, “Are your motives pure?”
You ask John Smith why he wants to time travel.
John: Ahh, well I guess my motives are pretty simple…I just don’t want to live like this anymore…
> Ash John, “Don’t you use a blink-a-tron to time travel?”
You ask John Smith about his technology.
John: Yeah, no…that would be stupid…I mean I’ve always wanted to try it once in a while, but never for real though.
> Tell John, “We’re ready to time travel. Let’s go.”
You tell John Smith that you are ready to time travel. He nods and smiles at you.
John: Alrighty then! We’re gonna do it!…
> Enter the time machine.
You enter the time machine and press the button. A bright light appears in front of you and a loud noise occurs. The screen displays “Time Travel” and you begin to move forward at incredible speed.
> I exclaim, “John! Where is this time machine taking us!?”
You yell at John, “Where is this time machine taking us?!”
John: Oh, uh…we’re moving into the past! It’s not very far ahead, so we should get there soon.
You: How can you be so calm about something like this?!
This could change everything!
John: Look, it won’t make any difference in the end, so stop worrying about it. Besides, if anything happens to me or you, we’ll still have our lives together. What choice do you really have?
> Friendzone John.
You say, “Friendzone John!”
John: What?!…What did you say?
You: I said friendzone John! Now let’s go back home and forget all about this!
> Ask John, “Has the time machine taken us to the past yet?”
You ask John, “Have we already traveled to the past?”
John: No! That was just a test question! Of course we haven’t traveled to the past yet! We’re in the future now.
You: Wait a minute…you said you were in the future…
> “What year is this?”
You ask John, “How old am I?”
John: Uh…I’m twenty-three. And how old are you?
You: Twenty-two. So what year is this anyway?
John: Well, it’s the year 2138. We’re in the year 2077 now.
You: Are you sure? Because I thought we were in the future…or maybe even earlier than that. Maybe 2137? Or 2134?
> Stop the time machine and step out to look around.
You stop the time machine and walk outside. You see nothing but desert and mountains.
John: (Sigh) This place sucks! We’ve gotta find a better place to live, because right now we don’t have much of anything here.
> Tell John, “We are trying to get back to the year 2016. We’ve got some social media bots to delete. Then we have to record Grawlix Podcast #100. It’s better to start early.”
You say, “We need to get back to the year 2016. We’ve got some social media bots to delete. Then we have to record Grawlix Podcast #100. It’s better to start early.”
John: But…but we’re in the future!
> Tell John, “Yes, John. That’s why we are using your time machine.”
You say, “Yes, John. That’s why we are using your time machine.”
> Enter the time machine, again. Set the destination year for 2016. Prepare the bot deletion kit.
You enter the time machine, once more. The first thing you do is set the destination year for 2016. Next, prepare the bot deletion kit by taking out all of them and putting them into a baggie so they can be disposed of later if necessary.
> Engage the time circuits and travel to the year 2016.
You activate the time circuits and travel to the year 2016. Suddenly, you realize that you’ve gone too far ahead in time! You quickly turn around and exit the time machine.
John: What?! How did you go too far forward in time?
> “These things never work right! We were trying to go back in time, again.”
You say, “These things never work right! We were trying to go back in time, again!”
John: Okay then…where are we going?
You: Oh, well I’ll explain everything when we arrive at our destination. For now though…
> Step out of the time machine into the year 2016.
You step out of the time machine into the year 2016. Immediately, you notice that this isn’t any old desert or mountain range anymore. There is a huge city with skyscrapers everywhere.
> I ask myself, “Okay, so we are back in 2016. Now what?”
You ask yourself, “Okay, so we are back in 2016. Now what?”
John: Well that was weird! Where the hell am I?
You: Ah yes, you are in the future.
> Find an internet connection and upload bot deletion kit to the internet.
You find an internet connection and upload the bot deletion kit to the internet. A few minutes later, you hear a loud noise from outside.
“What happened?!” you exclaim.
> Go outside and search for that loud noise.
You go outside and search for that loud noise. After some searching, you finally locate it. It sounds like a nuclear explosion. You see smoke rising up from the area where you had been standing before.
John: What?! Is there something wrong with me? Am I dying?
> “No, John, you’re fine.”
You say, “No, John, you’re fine.”
> How big was that explosion?
You say, “That explosion was about the size of a small atomic bomb blast.”
John: That’s pretty big! So, what happens next?
You: Well, you won’t know until you get there.
> Ask John, “Do our motives seem pure to you?”
You ask John, “Do our motives seem pure to you?”
John: Yeah, yeah. I mean sure they do. They just want to live their lives without being bothered by the government and its agents all the time. I guess we’re good then…
> Find a podcast recording studio.
You find a podcast recording studio. The place looks very modern. You walk inside and see several people sitting around listening to podcasts on various topics. One of them notices you and asks who you are. You tell him your name and he introduces himself as David Wallace (or Dave).
> Ask John, “Do you know David Wallace?”
You ask John, “Do you know David Wallace?”
You: Then why did he introduce himself as Dave? He doesn’t even look like him. Or does he?
John: Maybe because he’s a clone of him? Yeah, that makes sense.
> Ask David Wallace, “Are you a clone?”
You ask David Wallace, “Are you a clone of me?”
David Wallace: Uh…no.
You: Then who is this guy?
David Wallace: This is my brother Mark. We were both born in the year 2065.
> Ask David and Mark, “Is this place a desert in the year 2065?”
You ask David and Mark, “Is this place a desert in the year 2065?”
David Wallace: It’s not really a desert, but it has lots of sand dunes. There used to be more trees here too, but those were destroyed when the world went into an ice age.
> Ask David Wallace, “Have you heard of The Grawlix Podcast in the future?”
You ask David Wallace, “Have you heard of The Grawlix Podcast in the future?”
David Wallace: Nah, never heard of it.
You: Why not?
David Wallace: Because it’s a podcast created by clones.
> Question our own existence.
You question your own existence. You don’t believe that you exist at all. Your mind goes blank and you fall unconscious.
> Wake up and look around.
You wake up and look around. Everything seems normal again.
> Look for David Wallace.
You look for David Wallace. You search everywhere, but there isn’t anyone else here anymore. You think about what happened and how you feel now.
> Are we still in the podcast recording studio?
You are you still in the podcast recording studio? Yes, you’re sure of it.
The room is empty and silent now.
> Start recording The Grawlix Podcast episode #100.
You start recording The Grawlix Podcast episode #100. The voice of the host sounds very familiar, but you can’t remember his name yet.
Your mind starts to go blank again, and you fall asleep once more.
> Wake up.
You wake up and see yourself lying on the floor with a bunch of other people. They have strange clothes on, but they aren’t human anymore.
They are wearing strange clothing like you had worn before, but now they’re covered in weird things like scales or horns.
> I exclaim loudly, “Are these mutant clones of us?”
You exclaim loudly, “Are these mutant clones of us?” No one answers you. You wonder if they even hear you.
Suddenly, a big black creature appears from behind you! He grabs your arm and begins pulling it towards him!
> Flash the light from my phone into the creature’s eyes.
You flash the light from your phone into the creature’s eyes. It turns its head and looks at you, but doesn’t attack you. Instead, it runs away as fast as possible while scratching itself.
It seems that this creature is a clone of you! What will happen next?
> Think to myself, “How is this a clone of us? How would we even know? Are we that ugly?”
You think to yourself, ‘How is this a clone of us? How would we even know? Are we that ugly?’ You turn your phone off and try to sleep again.
After some time passes, you wake up again.
> Find John Smith.
You find John Smith. There are no other humans here anymore. You don’t know where he went, but you hope that he survived.
There are two doors in front of you: One leads to another room and the other door leads to a hallway.
> Enter the door that leads to another room.
You enter the door that leads to another room. There are several tables and chairs around, which are all filled with various food items.
A man stands near the entrance of the room and waves his hand towards you, saying, ‘Welcome back!
> Say to the man, “Thanks. Where are we?”
You say to the man, “Thanks. Where are we?” He replies, “We’re in a cafeteria!”
You begin eating the food. After a few minutes, you feel hungry again so you continue eating. Soon after, you finish your meal and decide to leave the cafeteria.
The man who waved at you earlier tells you to follow him outside and says that there should be something for everyone here.
> “Have you ever hear of The Grawlix Podcast?”
You say, ‘Have you ever heard of The Grawlix Podcast?’ He replies, ‘Yeah! I’ve been listening to it since I was little!’
He continues, ‘I’m going to tell you about my favorite episode right now. It’s called…
> Ask him, “What is your favorite episode of the Grawlix Podcast called?”
You ask him, “What is your favorite episode of the Grawlix Podcast called?” He replies, “Oh, that’s easy. That’s the one where they talk about how we were created by aliens.
> “What was the title of that episode?’
You say, ‘What was the title of that episode?’ He replies, ‘That’s a secret! Don’t tell anyone!’
You smile and nod and walk out of the cafeteria.
> “Well, that was a fan at least.”
You say, “Well, that was a fan at least.”
As you walk down the hallways and pass by many different rooms and corridors, you notice that there are signs posted on every single door telling people what kind of person goes into each room.
> Read some of the signs out loud.
You read some of the signs out loud. They are all very long and detailed. Some have pictures attached to them as well.
> Search for the time machine.
You look around and see no other cars or anything else like that. Suddenly, you spot a large metal box sitting on top of a table. It has two doors on either side of it. One is labeled ‘Enter’ and the other is labeled ‘Exit’.
> Enter the Exit door.
You open up the exit door and step inside. There is a large room with several tables set up along the walls. A couple of older men sit behind the tables, but they don’t seem to pay any attention to you.
> Ask the men, “Are you fans of The Grawlix Podcast?”
You ask the men, “Are you fans of The Grawlix Podcast?” They reply in unison, “Yes!”
“How do you know that?,” you ask.
They answer back, “Because they’re old guys! And they’re talking about us!”
> Ask the men, “Who are you?”
You ask the men, “Who are you?” They reply in unison, “We’re just folks who enjoy good stories.”
“Do you know who we are?” you ask.
They reply back in unison, “No!”
> Tell the men in unison, “We are The Grawlix Podcast.”
You tell the men in unison, “We are The Grawlix Podcast.” They stare at you incredulously.
> Ask the men, “Which Grawlix Podcast episode is your favorite?”
You ask the men, ‘Which Grawlix Podcast episode is your favorite?’ They reply back in unison, ‘The one where we talked about our lives before we got together.
> Ask them, “Are you us in the future?”
You ask the men, ‘Are you us in the future?’ They reply back in unison, ‘Yeah!’
“What’s your name then?” you ask.
They reply back in unison, “It’s David and this is John.”
> “David Wallace and John Smith?”
You say, “David Wallace and John Smith?” They both nod their heads.
> Ask David and John, “Is this the real 2016 or are we some other time now?”
You ask David and John, “Is this the real 2016 or are we some other time now?” Both of them nod their heads.
“So what do you think of us then?” you ask.
Both of them shake their heads.
> Tell David and John, “This is the time machine that we are in now, isn’t it.”
You tell David and John, “This is the time machine that we are in now, isn’t it.” They both nod their heads.
> Use time machine to travel to 2020.
You use the time machine to travel to 2020. You see a lot of changes since you were there. Buildings have been built up around the town, but most people still live in tents or shacks made from whatever materials they can find.
> “Looks about right.”
You say, “Looks about right.”
A few years pass…
> Grawlix Podcast is #1 in the New Zealand podcast charts.
A few years pass…
You’re on the top spot in the New Zealand podcast charts! This means that your show has become very popular with listeners all over the world. People from different countries listen to your show because it’s funny and entertaining.
> Live happily ever after.
You smile at the thought of your life being so good. Your fame and fortune grows as more people come to listen to your show. You’ve even gotten married and had children! The only problem is, you never get any sleep. You just keep working until you die.
– YOU DIED! GAME OVER! –